1. Confusion over my sexuality. I am a straight male. However, I am not a masculine male. Nor am I able to get a girlfriend. This does not make me gay. The guys that call me gay piss me off. They call me gay to insult me, just because I don’t fit their definition of masculine. Well, I have a condition that, while primarily affecting the brain, also tends to come with the condition Hyptonia – a genetic inability to grow muscle. I am not handsome, I am not fit, and my body fat goes straight to my stomach area. It’s no wonder women don’t find me attractive. Part of the accusation stems from not having a girlfriend present – you know, because she doesn’t exist – but the main reason is because I don’t look manly. I don’t act like their definition of manly either, and so they accuse me of being gay because of that. Not out of any actual gayness on my part. It’s insulting, not due to being homophobic, but due to hating being accused of something that isn’t true.
It stems from homophobia. They’re gay; they’re raised by culture to be afraid of gayness, therefore they’re trying to hide their own gayness behind a mask of ultra-macho bullshit (if there’s any truth to that joke, anyway). Or they’re just naturally that way because they’re muscular and believe they can get away with it because of this. Same goes for the guys who call out to women they pass and make disgusting sexual comments that show a complete pervert attitude. They’re gay and they treat women as devices for preventing gayness. As if they can catch gay if they don’t act macho enough. It’s basically obvious to everyone but themselves.
That’s an explanation I agree with, however jokingly it’s said. It makes sense, though it’s not psychologically or scientifically proven per se. The other theory is that they’re assholes for assholes’ sake, and get away with it because they’re bigger than everyone else. Either way it’s maddening madness.
The world would be a lot nicer place if those sorts of ‘men’ were non-existent, but until that happens, I support education in schools that discourages this kind of homophobic and sexist behaviour. I won’t tell you what I prefer, as it will show you just how psychotic and even sadistic I am. I don’t get angry, I see a red wall of rage. Blame my genetics – I have 7 tribes of Barbarian in my family line, with quite a few Berserkers. That’s what my goth cousin says, anyway. At least my temper has cooled these days. It takes really evil behaviour to set me off.
2. Being confused for convicted Paedophile Dennis Ferguson. I am not an 80-something year old man, not yet, and I do not have a sexual fixation for young boys (the term refers specifically to sexual attraction to boys, mainly pre-pubescent; towards girls, it’s Nymphophile). I know Daniel and Dennis START with the same letter, but it is not the same word. I HATE being associated with that disgusting excuse for a human being, and I’m glad that he’s dead – maybe now people will forget all about him, and I can be free from the association with him. But people will still confuse me with a dead, old paedophile because people are stupid. At least certain friends’ friends, anyway.
3. Shit music. Enough said.
4. Every female I’m ever interested in having a boyfriend – particularly, if I ask them out and they say yes, only to turn around the next day and have some excuse not to go out with me, particularly that they Suddenly And Conveniently Have A Boyfriend Now, so they can’t even talk to me. This was the last experience I had asking anyone out online. I will never do that again. Especially when so few even reply in the first place (and none agree). (Sure, it might be dark of me to blame women for my bad dating experience, but if anyone could enlighten me on what I’m *supposed* to do, go for it. I have made significant progress in being more positive though. But I’ve never known positive before and it’s new to me.)
5. The assumption that I am gay because I’m not hitting on a woman or have a girlfriend. This is nowhere near as fury-triggering as #1, but it still annoys the shit out of me. I have Asperger’s Syndrome, so obviously, that means I’m gay. Also, my name is Daniel, and all Daniel’s are gay. I’m also a writer, and… For fuck’s sake, stop that shit. I just haven’t met anyone who is:
- Attractive,
- Nice,
- Caring,
- Interesting,
- and single
But obviously, I’m not interested in sex, a relationship, or women. Because I’m an AS named Daniel who wants to be a published writer.
6. Racism. Even well-intentioned racism, like Cultural Appropriation (borrowing other cultures’ and races’ stuff to look multicultural) and including minorities for inclusion’s sake.
Well-intentioned racism? Never heard of it. Ya learn something new everyday, huh?
Dude, know that you are better than they ever will be. Hold your head high! And I’ve never confused you with Dennis. I didn’t even know he existed. So, you are right, folks will eventually forget about him. Besides, once you are famous, no one will make that mistake again.
Good luck finding a soul-mate. It is not easy, even after you find the right one. My husband and I have been married for 18 years. It’s been fun, and I wouldn’t want it any other way, but it is work.
I’m not surprised you haven’t heard of Dennis. He’s a notorious Australian, but it’s not like he’s Michael Jackson level (in)famous.
I did not know there was a different term for the (disgusting) admiration of inappropriately young girls. I’ll file that word away for future use and hope I never need to use it except at some sort of trivia event.
If it helps at all you never came across as gay to me at any of the writers’ group meetings and I also abhor homophobia. It amuses my friends how worked up I get over it when I am a straight female. Also, I’ve never heard that Aspergers makes you gay. That may be the funniest/stupidest thing I’ve heard all week.It boggles my mind that some people can be so close-minded.
Finally, I imagine the girls who suddenly have boyfriends have changed their minds and think it would be easier on you to say they have a boyfriend rather than fess-up to the fact they changed their mind, unaware that it is easy to see through their ruse and thus more hurtful. It may sound like a platitude to say this but you probably don’t really want a girl that fickle anyway.
Damn straight I don’t. I bit that girl’s head off, but I still feel I could have done a better job of it. Except that would be in adding insults to her character, and that would make me look petty. But *maybe* I should have told her that she was full of it and that I saw right through her bullshit. Next time I’ll just up-front call a girl out on that kind of bullshit.
What gives me the shits about this treatment is that it’s from the ONLY two girls online who agreed to date me. They both turned around and had a convenient excuse not to on the day in question (the first had chores to do, which I believe was slightly more creative than “I’m washing my hair” but only by a hair’s width (pun intended)). Every other girl who’s responded online – estimated at about 200, out of something like 1000 – have refused or even laughed about the idea. The only two that didn’t, gave me bullshit excuses on the day. Hence I will never ask anyone out online ever again. It’s time to switch to real life, no matter how nerve-wracking that thought is.
Drunk Assholes and Stupid Women Who Have Sex With Anything Male And Get Offended That I Don’t Want To Sleep With Them And Instantly Assume I’m Gay For Refusing Them (TM) assume I’m gay. This is why I don’t interact with most people at bars/pubs/clubs. And I have a decent enough time this way without such narrow-minded Sorry Excuses For Human Beings.
Intelligent people who write books tend know better. Or at least not openly judge, which is good enough for me.
Chores? Was she actually 15 and her parents wanted her to do them before going out?
Good on you for not stooping to the level of Stupid Women Who Have Sex With Anything Male, you’re a tougher man than some I know.
More or less. If it even happens again I WILL get snarky.