Shades of the Magi | The Dark Word

Well, how’s this for nostalgia? Some time in 2008 – generally one of the suckiest years for me in like, ever – I started and posted the first chapter-ish amount (hard to say what it counts as) in a youth-targeted collaborative choose-your-own-adventure story. Turns out I had finished that part of it, after all. I thought I still had to resolve the battle, but apparently that’s taken care of. Anyway, for Youth and Children’s Writing, I’m considering this story as it has some pros (but also cons) as the creative piece. I haven’t “submitted” it anywhere, but within like 5 minutes of posting it I got some fans.

You can read it for yourself here: http://www.protagonize.com/read/fenira-adventure/pdf or – the /pdf bit. Yes, you have to do it yourself. What, you want me to hold you hand? No way, that would just be gay! :p

The next best alternative is the Children of Fire prologue, which has been critiqued and edited, but not used for Uni and thus not marked (although I did submit the manuscript – though I probably won’t hear anything on that till October, well after the due date of this particular assignment).

So here’s the complete list of options with their pros and cons.

Children of Fire prologue

Pros: It’s the start of a project, and the start of the book (and series) which mirrors the start of a new life; it’s about a young woman leaving the safe and familiar, which has been broken, to journey through the strange, dangerous new world; I’ve already written it (it’s been critiqued once but not submitted for marking nor has it been published yet). If it comes time to submit and I’ve got nothing else, definitely hand this in.

Cons: Will have to develop character/isation, etc. strengthen hook/opening line.

Fenira story on Protagonise

Pros: finish an old project that I stopped writing; revival of the ancient art of choose your own adventure stories; teen characters = teen audience; love-square-ish relationship: Arrith, the plain, reserved guy has a major crush on Hailyn, the feisty, adventurous girl, who basically ignores him and worships Paul the suave world-wanderer… meanwhile, Ciana is the girl right there by his side, unnoticed. It’s a more active, choice-based story that readers actually *participate* in.

Cons: it might not revive the form; it’s straight, plain fantasy setting; it’s D&D-styled; it’s 2^nd-person POV

Raising a Cult

Pros: worked really well as a level-1 adventure; it’s youth-focused (about and probably suitable for); it’s an exciting and dangerous adventure with real, mature themes.

Cons: it’s not written yet, and I’ve got limited time;

Balen Roth, wanderer and until recently a rising priest of Vigil the Protector, was hiking along the Delbrano Highway, backpack bundled onto his shoulders, when he heard the Etherwind coming. Thinking the rush of movement might be a monster approaching, he turned; it was a monster, but one made of wood and sails, a monster of the skies – a ship that floated in the air, an aberration, an airship.

His feet felt like they were bathed in fire, they were so sore. Taking a major gamble, he thumbed for a ride… and as the ship passed over him, not too far overhead, it began to slow.

A few hundred feet ahead, the airship halted horizontal and forward direction, and began to sink towards the ground as Balen dashed closer. The sound of latches being undone issued from within the lower section of the hull and then a section of wooden wall swung down and revealed the innards of the airship’s cargo hold – and the large, extremely muscular, long-haired man in brown leathers standing in the doorway with a greatsword strapped to his back.

“Hail!” the large man called out in a voice as strong as a lion’s roar.

“Greetings,” Balen said, above the sound of two propeller blades on the side of the vessel as he approached. “Thank you for stopping! As you can see, I am a weary traveler, and I notice you have use of an airship!”

The long-haired man’s face lit up with a quick smile. “Indeed I do! Draden Winter, second-in-command of the Etherwind. Pleasure to meet you.”

“Balen Roth. I’m a priest on a journey.” Balen took the man’s hand and was astounded at the sheer power of the grip and the way it crushed his significantly less muscular hand. But Balen had been shaking bosses’ hands, namely that of his father’s, since he was ten years old.

“If you wish passage, come and talk to our captain, Kale Trelthanis. You’ll find he is a very reasonable man.”

“Thank you for stopping for me,” Balen said.

“Not at all,” Draden replied. “A man of the faith is a very important person.” They made their way up two flights of stairs onto the deck, passing a trio of people – two young men, one in brown monk robes, one in a black coat, and a young lady in plate armour with a long red scarf around her neck and lustrous long tendrils of gold hair – on the way up.

“Those fellows are Acerin Thala and Telro Vaniden,” Draden explained. The monk bowed. The other man looked right at Balen, but otherwise didn’t react.

“The young lady is Alina Kennard, a knight-sister.” The woman smiled.

“It is an honour,” she said.

“Likewise,” Balen greeted.

The trio were gathered around a section of the middle floor where there was a square section missing, through which several oiled ropes travelled. The hole was girdled by a pine railing, and positioned directly below a pair of angled cargo doors.

“Above us is the cargo crank. Because of the design, the cargo is on the bottom floor and the personal quarters are all on the middle floor. Therefore we have to put cargo on a pulley-operated platform system and hoist it up onto the deck by hand.

“Of course, our engineer built us a nice crank to make it easier – because she loves us so much,” Draden said, and Balen wasn’t sure if he was being serious or sarcastic.

Draden Winter directed Balen Roth to the pilot box, where two young men were currently engaged in conversation. He waved to the young men, and one of them came out of the pilot’s box to greet the stranger on the ship.

He wore a lute strapped over his shoulder, and underneath that a blue embroidered shirt and black vest. His hair was a mess of black curls and his eyes were a mischievous dark blue while his grin said that he was a perpetually joyful character.

“Sir, this is the man we picked up,” Draden said.

Balen Roth offered his name and his hand to shake.

“The name’s Kale Trelthanis,” the young man with the cocksure smile said, “though what you call me doesn’t worry me. And this is my ship, the Etherwind. Now… what pray tell brings a man of the divine robes this far between cities without transport?”

“Truth is, I’m not entirely sure where I’m going. I was thinking of heading north, though.”

“Ah!” Kale exclaimed. “Would this journey involve some soul-searching by any chance?”

“I’d say so,” Balen replied. “Why do you ask?

“If you have the kind of soul that seeks to find answers abroad, then we’re the ship for you! You are welcome here, as long as you have need of our services, and without charge, no less! I just have to ask that you don’t go into the Propulsion System room, nor the cargo hold without supervision. Beyond that, make yourself at home. We’ll arrive in Serinth within three hours if the wind holds.”

“Thank you,” Balen said. “It’s most appreciated.”

“Your feet must be killing you,” the larger man said.

“Like you wouldn’t believe,” Balen replied.

“Draden should be able to find you something for that.”

“Come with me,” Draden said, and Balen followed the giant as he headed for the stairwell.

The Etherwind rose, knowing not the kind of trouble it had just picked up.