Xmen movies

I saw Logan last week. Hugh Jackman is the first live-action Wolverine, he was a kinda strange choice, since the character is short and Jackman is Australian, while Logan is Canadian, though the two are practically the same in general, both live in extreme weather, both speak a version of English that confuses Americans, and both are friendly as all hell. Both also have reputations as badasses, because there’s so much that can kill you in both countries. Canada has wolves, stags, grizzly bears, all the things that *look* like they’ll fuck you up and it’d be an honour. Australia… hoo boy. Snakes and spiders, mostly, but Crocodiles, Sting Rays, Box Jellyfish, Sharks, Cassowaries (like mutant Emu’s on steroids and straight out of Hell) and boxer roos, the big, fuck-off kangaroos that are like, 8 feet tall and on steroids and can punch a hole clean through your chest if you don’t shoot them first with a shotgun, or, better yet, a double barrel .44 Magnum shotgun. And wild boars, you gotta use that, their skulls are that thick and they move that fast and that angry.

I illustrate these animals because A) they’re fucking savage and B) none of them have anything on Wolverine. I mean shit, he can regenerate, has metal from another planet in his bones, and retractable claws that can cut through ANYTHING. Okay, maybe not Juggernaut’s helmet. Nothing can cut through that. But anything else in that setting, forget it, basically. His claws are the fucking Colt from Supernatural.

So, he’s been in all of the Xmen movies. All 7 of them. (8 counting Deadpool?) So, let’s see if I recall much about those.

Xmen: decent action movie, one of the two properties that Fox did well on, for the most part, the other being Spiderman. The visuals were a grey and black colour palette, the costumes were obsessed with “not yellow spandex” to the point they were all black, the computer thing was grey moving blocks and I thought Cerebrum looked best in First Class, honestly. Some of the dialogue was alright, most was kinda stupid though. For a comparison: I liked “Not everyone can shrug off bullets, Logan.” And when Cyclops later tested Wolverine’s identity because Mystique was present, Logan simply said, “Dick.” I think that was where he gave him the middle claw. Cyclops was convinced. On the other end of the spectrum was Storm’s line about toads and lightning storms. Ugh. Fuck no, writers, have her JUST ZAP HIM! Still, Xmen 1 was good, not great, and it was revolutionary at the time for LGBT issues.

Xmen 2: a perfectly good sequel. Soldiers tried to capture mutants, mutants ran around the house and wouldn’t go to bed like good little children. And Iceman chilled Logan’s beer. And the cat licked Logan’s claws. I didn’t even remember until now the lake bit, though. Or the facility. Or some hot-ish, but forgettable, Asian… Wolverina? (shut up)

Xmen 3: The Last Stand. Sigh. It was pretty bad. Magneto busted out with a single paper clip, though. The soldiers learned to use fully plastic weapons. The team work displayed in the bridge fight was great. The line “I’m the Juggernaut, bitch!” was the stuff of one-liner legend. Magneto ripping the San Francisco Bridge out of the supports and putting it down where he wanted it was the stuff of visual legend. (at least until the submarine in First Class went one better)

Most of that movie didn’t do much for anyone, but the climatic final battle did deliver the goods. The girl from Game of Thrones was, I think, was a better Phoenix, though. Not a better Jean Grey, but then I can barely recall that much about Xmen 3, so yeah. No confidence there.

Then you have First Class, which was just amazing, and is the inspiration for Adrian in Children of Fire (with some Hans Gruber for good measure).

Days of Future Past was… good in concept, but where Rogue got the new powers from is a mystery that was never explained. The way the human guy in charge of the Sentinels was merely wrong, that was a nice change of tone. Peter Dinklage can’t really do anything but Tyrion, though, from what I’ve seen and heard so far. He did alright here, but that character was overshadowed by the legendary Tyrion Lannister. As any role he’s in would be.

Apocalyse was just… ugh. Kill me, please. Rehashing Magneto’s origin in a lazy, uninspired way (though his wanting to be left alone by the soldiers and being forced to use his powers at the steel mill was an inspired moment). The murder of his wife and child was just too on the nose. Apocalypse himself was boring. The power upgrades were… what again? Xavier losing his hair that way was just stupid and undid the gag in First Class. The Wolverine cameo was on the nose too. So was the “third movie in a trilogy sucks” comment. Mystique’s arc was repeated pretty much the same way but a much lesser quality.

The only good thing was that final battle, and how Magneto pulled the two beams together to form the X.

And then Logan was the R-rated gore-fest with death and rage and suffering right until the end that a series like this needed as a capstone, at least as far as Logan’s story goes. Cinematically, it’s the perfect ending to a series of movies about mutants fighting. The series starts of good, goes downhill, and rises right back up after two Wolverine solo movies. (The first I’ve seen, a few times, it’s stupid good fun in my opinion, I think everyone just focuses on how bad they treated Deadpool, but Wade Wilson was at least cool as shit; it’s right at home in the 80s, and that war montage with the two brothers is amazing. “He fought and died in two world wars” comes to mind as a phrase from an “adult” cartoon I loved as a late teen, see if you can guess it from that quote).

So okay, he’s in 9 movies, I think. Two were cameos, three were solo outings, and this has more than cemented Hugh Jackman as THE Wolverine. He was pretty much born to play the role, like Reynolds in Deadpool. (Cable sounds fucking amazing, and I kinda remember him from the cartoon, mostly only while it was playing on the TVs at the Step Inn in the Valley back in like 2009 (now Netherworld)). They played metal there. Seems appropriate, really.

That’s my retrospective on the series. In Marvel’s hands again, any Wolverine they have will have BIG shoes to fill. And I think they can safely just not have him around and it won’t be an issue, he does kinda go off on his own a lot.


Children of the Sun – review (play)

Review by Daniel Ferguson for Children of the Sun 

Performed at QUT Creative Industries, Thurs 20/10/1026

Directed by Anna Doust, originally written by Jill Webster

Starring Kat Johnman as Jenny, Kara Fisher as Anna, Joshua Bell-McNee as Nathan and Rebekah Williams as Alena.

“All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” ― Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina

*Disclaimer: I personally know the director and the event was free of charge. These factors did not influence my review.

Walking into the foyer, not knowing what I was even coming to see, and having not seen my friend in over a year in person (though knowing she was studying theatre, and sharing common book interests), I was unsure what to expect. But since I had the day free, and the tickets didn’t cost anything, I figured why not. Gotta be better than TransRoboTerminAlien Joe: Reboot Day 2, right? (actually, if that were a real title…)

Children of the Sun was an end-of-semester showcase student play that I only heard about last night (this review having been written on the lawn, beneath a tree, with a pizza next to me… Ah, that takes me back!) when a wild status update appeared on my feed. Seems a friend from Uni was directing a play now, and there were free tickets still available.

Since I wasn’t doing anything anyway, and I hadn’t seen her in person in a year or maybe two – okay, may as well.

Short version: two teenagers are being lured into a cult by a snake of a woman who promises love and light and great sensations and popularity (but you’re not allowed meat, and you have to pray every day at set times) but their mother disagrees with their poor decisions (while unsuccessfully hiding a Harley Davidson tattoo).

The longer version: The play centres on Anna (the character, not the director… I hope) played by Fisher, and her brother Nathan (Bell McNee) (I know a guy named Nathan, he’s like a brother to me), being lured into a cult of happiness and light and warmth (heh) who worship a god (they always have a god, and they’re always zealous af) and they don’t eat meat (so they’re also level five vegans) by the sizzling siren Alena (Williams) who’s business-woman attitude towards the pleasures of this cult make for some ahem interesting lines, particularly when she’s seducing Nathan (ie “It works better if you lie on the couch… Move your arm… Place your hand there… Feel the warmth…”) Awkward but raucous laughter ensued.

Anna, who is much more normal and relatable in appearance, dress and personality, is lured in by Alena’s (equal opportunity) siren call with the promise of community, fitting in, perfect life and love and truth… and manipulative demands.

Anna’s brother Nathan is similarly lured in, seeing as he shows all the classic signs of drug addiction (the eyes, man…).

The mother, Jenny (Johnman) desperate to keep her family together (the father isn’t around, spoiler alert) pleads with Anna to stay, even resorting to using her “soul name” (something spiritual-sounding, Raina I think?) at points.

The mother, I noticed, had a Harley Davidson tattoo on under her shawl (I’m told it’s real).

There was a closet in the middle of the stage (I’m not saying whether it opened or not, that would be spoiling), and there were two kitchen chairs, a couch, and a doorway. Connecting all of these, from the closet out to every piece of furniture, were streamers, and some people the row behind me were discussing what those meant and represented and all that symbolic stuff.

Having just been watching Firefly this week, and seeing the one where the hill folk kidnap Simon and River Tam, but right beforehand River is dancing with the folk there under a literal maypole, I thought of the outdoor dance floor… though there’s a polar opposite tone going on to that particular scene. This maypole is the closet and the closet has a skeleton and that skeleton is drugs and seductive lies and vulnerability. So the streamers represent a few things, really. Though, not knowing anything about it going in, I was thinking more like when a detective in a movie is connecting everything with strings on a cork board and gets told to turn in his badge and his gun because he’s officially lost it. Which, come to think of it, isn’t too dissimilar in symbolism. Every time I see that sort of thing, I think of that night Homer Simpson recalled scattered events of the night before, and he was frolicking around the pole with some scantily clad nymphs in black and white “silent film” style, and then he woke up in the gutter or on the couch having passed out from too much Duff beer. Make your own comparisons, I guess.

I’m not really an expert from any formal study (unless you count TvTropes), as A) while there’s techniques and craft, it does also come down to ability to deliver lines spot-on, or improvise well, and also to access emotion and use it to best effect. I haven’t studied the art and craft of it, but I am a writer, so I’m essentially a drama queen by proxy. (And I’ve seen Team America.)

And, when you see great acting, you know it. The actress who plays Alena is definitely going to go places. Not if, but when. Anna’s actress by comparison was convincing as a normal-ish teenage girl, ordinary and feeling down in the dumps and vulnerable to the whole “love and belonging” message the cult were pushing. I’ve been there myself, to some degree, and I definitely feel like that in my darkest moments. Her character evoked some real sympathy in me.

The mother, Jenny, struggles to keep the family together and functioning when the daughter is joining a cult and the son is on drugs; and being seduced much more sexually – this was an equal-opportunity seductress, of course – by Alena doesn’t really help mum’s position either. Same sympathy with Nathan, and his drug issues.

The closet… I’m not sure if that was to symbolise Nathan being gay, as such, but there was something he wasn’t telling anyone, so it was more a secrets-in-general kind of thing, as I saw it. His time on the couch with Alena was the kind of double meaning and innuendo that everyone in the audience got, laughed about, and knows that the person next to them is laughing for the same reasons you are – and not going to admit, in polite company at least, that they’ve seen that one before. Then you laugh because it’s not from Game of Thrones, but from something that is a play on that title…

I’ve known a couple of single mothers in my life, and the one in this setting was like both extremes rolled into one. A biker tattoo visible just under a knitted shawl and smeared mascara give you the “this woman was one type of person, now she’s the other” vibe simply from that one bit of ink, not quite hidden under the wool. So more to the point, it was party girl gets wild, has two kids, and struggles to keep them safe because of her own mistakes. And they’ve suffered just as much.

Along comes the serpent, and instead of luring the proverbial Adam and Eve out of the garden of Eden’s innocence and care-free purity, she’s luring them into false promises of that very thing, made more powerful because real life sucks sometimes and “no one” understands. Especially when you’re 16 and have Opinions.

These are oily Promises of happiness and praying (er, preying) and togetherness, all you have to do is step through this door and sign here, here, initials here, and everything can be yours and it’s perfect and you’ll be truly loved! You can be one of us! You don’t need your birth family when you’ve got our love, which is pure and bright and true, do you?

So, what rating am I giving this? Well, not knowing everything that goes into learning acting (I didn’t do drama in school, not really, nor music) or putting on a play, I can’t say with any certainty how well it went, but as a viewer (?) I was hooked.

Based on only really knowing the writing side of things, and watching a lot of movies, I’m not sure what to give it exactly. But I felt it earned every clap, because it was enjoyable to watch, it was confronting, it was awkward in a deliberate way, it was funny, it was interesting, and it was a real challenge to cut the script down to a half hour. I don’t feel any of it was truly overacted, at least any more than live theatre has to be sometimes, because it’s not being recorded or with much in the way of special effects like CGI that movies and shows have, so with all that in mind, I feel like it did really well.

And hey, I got to go back to Uni to see it, which is something I’ve missed. Besides, do I really need to see another 80s reboot/remake/rehash/sequel that’s sub-par in every way imaginable? I needed something a little different, and I’ve already seen Magnificent Seven and Doctor Strange isn’t out for another week, so I’m glad I went to this.

I’ll definitely be hugging my mother next time I go to visit.

War paint

War paint

Okay, it’s been a LONG time since my last post, and well, I don’t really want to go into my personal life any more – people who know me know that I was stressed out by the kind of chaos that requires direct intervention by a deity or at least a trusted family doctor to allow me to sort my shit out in some way (in a nutshell) so that I could at least have *some* idea of when I have to get things sorted by – so basically… I melted down. I was so frustrated, stressed and unable to DO anything or know how long I had to do so anyway, before the term of this current living arrangement is up… that I got physically sick. Ran a fever induced by stress and fog of war, basically.

Hence, when I went to someone’s party, and there was face paint (and alcohol, and 20-and-30-something writers and journalists, and also fairy bread) I got David Bowie’s lightning bolt painted on. Glitter and all.

Which, had it not been A) a stinking hot day (seriously, I was sweating like a whore in church, just from the heat) and B) I saw some PDA and that was the last straw and I broke down and cried… let it ALL out… and rinsed my face before I left… I walked out of that party with what amounted to smeared, red paint all over my face, my left arm somehow, and one leg of my pants. Oh, and because you don’t go Bowie without glitter…. there was also glitter. Sweat, tears, water, paint, glitter.

The bus home stopped right outside this place that does karaoke on Saturdays. And that night was the last Sat of the month which meant, Rockaoke – it’s the same thing, but with a live band – and there were a group of rock fans my own age, who hate the gold coast as much as I do, and who loved me. I just sat down to relax. The rest of the night was a blur of awesome.

Then when I got home, I just collapsed, and went into fever, because this whole year has been an emotional roller-coaster from hell, with periods of soaring highs that, the SECOND the source is gone, send my crashing right back down to the lowest I’ve ever been. Uncontrollable sobbing ensues.

Hence my face paint… looked like war paint. And I make shell-shock, PTSD flashback jokes often.

This time wasn’t a joke. This time was for real. And my Xbox, which I’d been using to cope through my bad year, fell over and broke the game I was playing to unwind. My xbox broke, but it was more than just a machine to me. It was control.

Man, I wish I’d taken a photo before I showered. You regret some bad decisions that you went through with, and follow through to the bitter end. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, because that’s simply not true.

But sometimes, yes, the biggest regrets are the moments you didn’t capture, just let them slip. You know, like Eminem.

The silver lining to all this is, now everyone knows that I’ve been through hell and it made me physically sick. The sympathy – real sympathy – poured in after that. People actually lined up to see me after that, pretty much. People who haven’t made me a priority at all this year. Granted, yes, the last 12 months, everyone’s lives all changed drastically, en mass. Basically, life for me and everyone I knew took a grenade shower. So I don’t hold a grudge or anything like that – I am understanding that we’ve all been through hell this year, and it’s not just me saying that about myself. But I went through it alone, lost in the woods, and many miles to go before I could sleep.

But – and no, this isn’t the lesson here – I found that if I bitched about it hard enough, people finally listened.

A week of bed rest at mum and dad’s, a new chair (the awful ones in this place did a number of my neck after a while) and a stress handle thing (no idea what it’s called, I just know it means I don’t harm anyone or thing, always a preference when you have my psychotic side rise up like a Revenant and nowhere to go) and a tonne of binge watching TV and reading and taking it easy – with some anti-anxiety meds to help – did wonders for me.

Shit got real. I like to think I handled it like  Terminator (which the music for just started playing, incidentally…). I didn’t, not even close, but I like to *think* that.

And I seem to be having pizza in the park after dark with a girl I know from Before on Wednesday. That’ll be good, for sure.